It’s true as time goes on nothing remains the same. Some friends who were once so close are now mere acquaintances or distant memories. That person you could talk with for hours you now find you have little to say. You focus on yourself as they focus on themselves and thus begins the relationship drift. Life happens—school, work, family, survival, struggle and whatever lies in-between. Times change, which includes how people prioritize you in their lives, as well as how you prioritize them.
As we grow and progress, so do our priorities, or, at least they should. We tend to take on more and as a result, have more to juggle and seemingly less time to do it. The relationship strain isn’t always intentional, but instead is a consequence of living life. And thus, we learn to become our own priorities because the plethora of confidants over time has shriveled down to a small few.
It can be deflating to realize a relationship will never be like it was at its zenith. You try, and try, and try but it never works quite the same. For instance, as a single and childless 30-something, maintaining relationships with friends who are married, have kids, or both can be challenging. While they are planning sleepovers, I am planning to sleep in. While they are throwing birthday parties, I am enjoying quiet evenings with a glass of wine.
They are great friends, but, we are on different paths in many ways and finding common ground takes more effort, and so we naturally prioritize each another differently. I wouldn’t expect them to place me at the top of their totem pole, and they wouldn’t expect it of me when other things take precedence—like raising a family.
The thought of losing those once tried-and-true confidants seems devastating on any level. However, it forces you to get back to you, a bit of self-reflection if you will. As time goes on nothing remains the same—even you. Though friends and family get pulled in different directions, it doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are. You have some changing to do too! This period gives you the space to figure out where you want to go and how you’ll get there. It is time that you reprioritize yourself for you.
When you reprioritize yourself, you should take time to do new and interesting activities, activities that touch on your new focus. It will help you get through the relationship drift. It also works to attract those very things you desire, like meaningful connections. This period could make you open to new opportunities and experiences if you allow it.
Hopefully, those fleeting relationships are not entirely lost but have rather changed with time. Of all the relationships you will ever have, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
There will always be people that come and go in your life—some will be transient and others everlasting. No matter, no one is responsible for prioritizing you but you.
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HI. I'M AWET.
A simple soul who likes to engage the world in meaningful ways in the hopes of inspiring others.
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