As I mentioned once before, the only constant in life is change. Due to changes in my life, I could not focus on the Chocolate Wallflower blog, but now I am back!
Sometimes we need to step away to focus on a more important task at hand. Though I felt guilty for the long hiatus, I knew it was necessary for the next phase of my life. You see I felt tired and beaten down by the, so-called, rat race. I was feeling discontented, unfulfilled and a bit burnt out, which is sad because I am pretty young. I am no spring chicken, but I am not close to retirement age either.
I had come to a point in my life where I asked, “So, is this it?” I was thankful for a “good” job, my needs were taken care of, and I could splurge on myself if I so desired. I'll admit my life on paper was pretty good, and I was genuinely thankful that I could make ends meet. Although, I struggled with accepting the status quo as-is. After so many years of doing what was expected of me—going to school and busting my butt—it seemed all I had to look forward to was two-weeks vacation every year and retirement at the age of 67 if I was lucky. Yawn!
I felt my “purpose was greater than my position.” I had greater ambitions than sitting idly until retirement to pursue my dreams that fell outside of the realm of ordinary. By retirement age, yes, I’d have more time to focus, but perhaps not the drive, energy or physical fortitude. So, I figured the time was now or never to do me.
It was time to focus on me in a way I never have and never could. It is difficult trying to keep up in a world that is quick to leave you behind, and so I decided to switch lanes out of the rat race and step to the wayside for my well-being. I decided that the time and energy I put out in trying to keep up, I would turn inward to invest in myself.
Now, I didn’t just say screw it and one day left my life behind as I know it never to return. I thought long and hard. I planned, prepared and looked at every angle before making my final move. I made sure to have a parachute and an emergency parachute before I stepped off of the cliff into the unknown. And, you know I am delighted I took that leap of faith.
No one knows precisely what the future holds so my new venture of self is both scary and exhilarating. I can truly say that I have no regrets about my decision. It has brought me unfound peace and mental clarity. It isn’t easy going against the grain, but sometimes it is necessary. There will be difficult moments; there will be liberating times, but that is what I signed up for when I began this journey. No matter what happens, I can say I took the bull by the horns, stepped out on faith in order to paint a life that I’ve always envisioned. Not many people can say that with true conviction.
Sometimes the expected outcome isn’t what’s important, but rather that the first step was taken.
You may also like:
In a fast-paced world, everything seems like it is go-go-go, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down even a little. We divide our time between this and that, but it never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done, which can take a toll on us. We don’t get enough sleep. We don’t eat as we should. We make excuses for not taking care of ourselves as best we could. Sound familiar?
Unfortunately, I am not Morpheus, so I don’t have a magic pill that would perfectly balance all of life’s demands. However, I’ll share with you something else that can make things a bit easier—a recipe. I know you’re thinking, how can a recipe improve my life? But, hear me out.
Mornings can be tough. For me, I procrastinate getting out of the bed, so much so that I set my alarm to go off an hour before I need to get ready for work. I know I can hit the snooze button three times before I run the risk of being late. Then, I have just enough time to get myself together and race out the door, which never includes breakfast. Let me tell you that it is no fun when your stomach protests and roars in the middle of an office meeting because you're hungry.
I have always been an ambitious person who tries to embody the live and let live mantra. I believe I should be able to live my life as I see fit without (too many) external influences. Though I have learned that being the captain of one’s own ship and going against the grain poses a unique set of challenges, which often leaves me feeling overwhelmed.
I often have these grandiose ideas that I feel are quite doable with proper planning. However, once I begin to drill down on all that is needed to make my dream a reality I soon realize it requires more effort than I initially envisioned. And, thus the overwhelming feeling begins.
My alarm clock unkindly lets me know that it is 4:30 in the morning, and I need to get out of bed right now, or I’ll ruin my trip to New York. I begrudgingly roll out of bed in a dark room having gone to bed just five hours before. Ah well, I catch some Zs on the bus ride to the Big Apple. I get myself together to race out of the door to begin my journey.
In my last post, Why I Stopped Living Just for the Weekend, I explain why and how I’ve decided to stop living for the weekend. Though, I admit, it can be difficult not to anxiously anticipate when you won’t be on someone else’s clock. I can still appreciate the end of the workweek for what it is—my time!
Those days off allows us to remove the mask, and be who we want to be. Let’s be honest the person that we project ourselves to be at work isn’t the person we really are to the core. Ok, I’ll speak for myself on that one.
As I prepare for Monday, I try to take it in stride and not get the Monday blues–a dreading of the start to the workweek. Where I once again have to wake up earlier, then I’d like to be in the hustle and bustle with countless others. Knowing I never wake up early enough to eat breakfast, I will have to grab my overnight oats as I race out the door. Hoping the bus doesn’t pass me before I get to the bus stop, I’ll have to speed walk as a precaution.
I know this will be how my Monday goes because this is how most workdays begin. But, I don’t want to be someone who wants to jump from Monday straight to Friday as if the middle of the week doesn’t exist.
HI. I'M AWET.
A simple soul who likes to engage the world in meaningful ways in the hopes of inspiring others.
SHARING IS CARING
SAVE $40 ON YOUR STAY
TOP 5 POSTS
GET 10% OFF